On the incredibly long list of Things I Don’t Care About, nothing is higher right now than “what people are wearing at Coachella.” In the words of the brilliant Sh*t Fashion Girls Say videos, everyone at Coachella looks like Pocahontas went to Burning Man, and I do not care to receive one more press release identifying some third-tier starlet’s pair of suede fringe shorts. First of all, suede fringe is going to chafe you something fierce when you wear it out in the desert sun all day, and second of all, there is nothing about suede fringe that I find the least bit chic in the first place.

So today, I bring you photos of Eva Longoria, who is looking delightfully adult and not-Coachella in skinny jeans and a simple, slouchy t-shirt. She’s wearing grown-up shoes in the form of classic wedge sandals, and her handbag, of course, is the most not-Coachella of them all: an Hermes Birkin. Thank you, Eva, for providing a bit of a respite in a sea of paparazzi pictures from the world’s most annoying music festival.

Bag Eva’s Hermes Style via Hermes.com!

Phew! I’m back! Ladies, I know it’s been a few days since we last spoke, but I made a big move from Atlanta to New York in the meantime and have just now gotten reliable Internet access in my apartment. I was going into withdrawals over the spotty pirated wifi that I had been using, but now I’m back in full force to bring you more celebrities and their bags.

Let’s start with Eva Longoria, who’s clearly a bag lover just like we are. Longoria carries a wide range of brands and price points, and with this particular casual outfit she chose a bicolor Salvatore Ferragamo Calfskin Tote. The black-trimmed ivory bag offers a bit of contrast to her simple ensemble of a neutral sweater and skinny jeans, and such a straightforward outfit offer the perfect background for a statement handbag. I’d choose this particular design for more of an office setting, but Ms. Longoria can do whatever she wants with it.

Bag Eva’s Ferragamo Style via Ferragamo.com!

As much as I’m a fan of the bountiful use of cleavage and workin’ whatever ya got, Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria‘s plunging-necked goddess dress from Georges Hobeika simply wasn’t working for me at Sunday night’s 2011 Screen Actors Guild Awards. The color was lovely on her and I have no problem with her beauty look or accessories, but the dress was just…not enough.

And when I say “not enough,” I mean it literally. The two lengths of fabric that make up the entirety of the gown’s bodice had me hoping and praying that Longoria’s stylist had used enough secret beauty tape to keep them in place through a tornado, since it seemed as though at least one of them was a bit too long to stay up on its own. Now that Eva’s getting divorced, I’m sure she wants to feel sexy and young, but there are certainly better ways to do it.

Some stars are all over the map with their handbags, other like to keep things limited to a few brands that they really love. Eva Longoria Parker is part of that second group – her bags almost always come from Hermes, Salvatore Ferragamo or Gerard Darel, with a little Valentino for good measure. Because of Longoria’s clear tastes, it’s usually easy to figure out what she’s carrying at any given time. Except for right now.

The metallic silver tote she’s carrying in these photos doesn’t come from any of those designers as far as I can tell, although I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if it’s a Gerard Darel bag that just doesn’t have much of an online presence. That’s all I have in the way of theories, though, so if you have more information, you know where to leave it. Please and thank you. I do know those flip-flops when I see them, though – they’re Chanel Camelia Sandals.

Bag Eva’s Chanel Style via Chanel.com!

They say that first impressions are one of the most important parts of human interaction, and my first impression of Eva Longoria‘s black Robert Rodriguez Black Label gown at last night’s 2010 Emmy Awards was…not good. And despite all of the great pictures I’ve seen of it afterward, I just can’t shake that initial feeling.

If you look closely at the gown’s bodice, you can see that it has two horizontal bands running around it, one above and one below the stomach. When I initially saw the dress on the E! red carpet coverage, it’s possible that the angle was just bad or Longoria was slouching a bit, but the placement of those two bands made her look like she had a big tummy pooch. I don’t think she does; it appears to just be an effect of the way the dress was constructed. But the gown is certainly requiring her to deal with significant corsetry to keep its shape, and with that in mind, it shouldn’t be creating that effect at all, ever.

I’ve never particularly liked any of Eva Longoria‘s acting (well, I was a Desperate Housewives fan for a season or two…), but she seems like she’d be a fun person to go shopping with. She seems to enjoy bags from a variety of designers and at a variety of price levels, with only one requirement – that they be beautiful, obviously.

“Beautiful” is one of many, many ways to accurately describe the Salvatore Ferragamo Ostrich Sofia Satchel. Ostrich is perhaps an under-appreciated exotic, but photos of this bag make it easy to see why designers continue to use it for their bags. It’s textured, fairly durable and looks beautiful in a structured design – what’s not to love? Oh, speaking of things to love, don’t miss Eva’s Goyard luggage in several of these photos.

Bag Eva’s Ferragamo Style via Luisa Via Roma!

Eva Longoria is not one of those celebs out there I picture being all super done up all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I know this lovely lady knows how to dress up with the best of them, but I’ve seen her lay low and still look drop dead gorgeous.

Eva looked absolutely amazing as she did a little (or perhaps a lot) of shopping while in Cannes. I love absolutely every single component to her outfit. Her Herve Leger dress hugs her petite frame while leaving very little hidden. And of course Eva knows how to accessorize this look with a Hermes Birkin and Yves Saint Laurent pumps.

Shop Yves Saint Laurent via Saks!

I’m starting to wonder what proportion of Hermes Birkins go directly to celebrities, do not pass “go,” do not collect $200. Or $8,000, or whatever they’re going for now. Although I think stars still mostly have to pay for them, but who really knows at this point? I’ve heard so many conflicting things about Hermes‘s policies regarding celebs that I don’t know which way is up anymore.

Anyway, yes, Eva Longoria Parker (side note – is she still using Parker? Are we, as a society, still using Parker?) is only the latest star out and about with the world’s most-wanted handbag (which I guess is subjective, but go with it). Hers is a deep indigo blue, and I only wish that the rest of her outfit was as interesting and vibrant as the bag’s color. Several shades and textures of black (denim, broadcloth, when will it stop?!?!?) just aren’t doing her any favors here.

Bag Eva’s Hermes Style via Hermes.com!

We’ve seen Eva Longoria in Gerard Darel a few times, nay, more than a few times, but this Gerard Darel bag in a brown-and-white cow print one of her more eccentric picks. I’m not condemning her use of animal print, not at all. Rather, I adore it! We’ve seen a bevy of celebs turning back towards leopard print, but Eva’s going against the grain by choosing cow.

A rather clunky animal to the leopard’s stealth, one might be confused by why use cow print. That’s an easy question for me to answer: most prints are fairly uniform. Cow, however, is not. It’s funky and uneven and quirky, and absolutely adds another layer to Eva’s otherwise sleek and sophisticated ‘fit.

And clearly Darel’s magic has been working, because here the Desperate Housewives star was spotted going into the Gerard Darel store, presumably to pick up a new purse. We’re seeing the bags carried more and more by Eva these days. I may even conjecture that it looks like here favorite handbag designer is shifting from Gustto to Gerard Darel, so which do you prefer?

Bag Eva’s Gerard Darel Style via Gerard Darel!

My interest in Desperate Housewives comes and goes. I find myself watching the show without fail from time to time and then before I know it I miss a couple episodes. Either way, no matter how many episodes I catch or miss, I do love the fashion. While the outfits don’t come close to say, those worn on Sex and the City, these women do have style.

The style extends beyond the set and into the actresses daily lives. Of all the women on Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria is probably followed the most. Perhaps it helps that she is married to NBA star Tony Parker, but Eva is photographed all the time. Here, Eva was spotted arriving at Washington DC Dulles Airport carrying a somewhat flashy Coach bag. I actually think the Coach Bonnie Metallic Chain Tote in ivory is a great bag, especially for jet-setting!

Bag Eva’s Coach Style via Nordstrom!

Celebrities are movers and shakers. At this day and age where so many people are enthralled with what celebs are up to, where they go, what they do, who they do, it is no surprise that these same celebs basically command so much of the fashion world.

So what are some of the handbags that celebs are loving right now? Gerard Darel! So look at this celeb infused group and tell me, who carries Gerard Darel the best?

Desperate Housewives is still on the air, right? I haven’t watched it in years, but we continue to come across paparazzi photos of its stars, so I have to assume that it is. In trying to think of something interesting to say about Eva Longoria, I came to the realization that I had no real idea if the show still existed or where it was in its plotline.

Which means that I still can’t think of anything interesting to write about Eva Longoria, except that her Valentino Petale Tote is kinda awesome. And by kinda, I mean really. She seems to have a lot to carry, though – two regular tote bags full of God-knows-what in addition to her already large Valentino bag have me trying to guess what she might be doing, and as best as I can imagine, she’s going to the gym. She’d need a full change of clothes and shoes, and some people like having a separate bag for their sneakers. Of course, I have no way of proving this, it’s just a story I’ve made up in my head.

Bag Eva’s Valentino Style via Nordstrom!